We don't want to run away from ourselves

A short summary: Why is that?

We neither want to flee nor run away and lose touch with where we momentarily stand. Let’s not heave ourselves somewhere where we don’t yet feel all too comfy anyway. Remember – we have time on our journey and we work based on impulses for the very next step. Today we’re reflecting on that.

Recap

In the previous episode we talked about the illusion of quick fixes, the need for patience and trust and we teased the inevitable importance of taking good care of ourselves. If you haven’t yet had the chance to read to the last one, make sure to do so before you continue here!

So we’ve concluded that we’re here for the long run, right? With all its ups and downs, setbacks, breakthroughs and stalemates. Sounds pretty exhausting, right? That’s why we’re going more into the topics of patience and calmness right here and now.

Introduction

Are you trying to catapult yourself away from where you are? Are you applying high pressure and strong forces on a more or less fragile thing (you) not knowing where you’ll land again? Do you just hope it will be somewhere soft and cosy?

This is for you, when you tend to do too much. Attend many classes at the same time, dive deep into several books and find yourself overwhelmed and disappointed on the couch several days or weeks later. Because you still approach things like they are sprints although they are actually marathons.

My personal connection to this post

I have found a lot of joy to write and work on this blog and I’d like it to keep going for a while. Similar to that, I’d like you to be a part of this journey as well. This naturally raises the question of how I can manage all this and set it up correctly so it

is sustainable and fulfils my desire to share reflections with you while I’m operating in this easy-going comfort zone ,
enables me to develop myself further
without overburdening or stressing myself too much doing so?

Being on a journey takes time, preparation, and a plan. Even when you’re following your daily, weekly or monthly walks and plans, there comes the time where you need or have to to scrap all these things to

rest and recover,
do nothing,
plan for dull times as well as ..

How are you doing at the moment?

Perhaps you’re at a point in your life that you just want to escape and flee from – which I totally understand, because I had been there as well. Hear me out – we don’t want to run away from where we are right now. In my personal story, I tried to escape the presence and myself using all possible catapults.

I was too hard on myself, set too high expectations and put myself under pressure in ways that were not necessary. Because I was under a lot of stress and pressure already. I wasn’t easy, helpful and kind to myself.

Guess how much success I had with that strategy? Admittedly, sometimes there was a bit of success, but it was definitely not sustainable. What did I actually expect putting that tiny fragile thing (me) in the catapult and throwing it miles away to only let it crash hard on the next unknown surface.

Guess how much fun I had doing that? Yeah, not a lot. I was so eager to get out of situations that it made me completely blind to possibly easier-going, calmer and honestly, for my sensitive being, way more appealing, softer and kinder ways to develop myself

in my own pace,
with what I feel was right for me and
with the right support.

It’s so hard to know how to keep going from here

As I write this, I am experiencing the greatest self-doubt and anxiety since I started this blog. I can’t put together a coherent message. I’d like to write about so many things because they all seem valid. I’d like to dive into striving, how important it is to be kind to yourself and how rest and patience are essential parts of this journey.

But I fail. The original draft has more than 2500 words and I can’t successfully divide it into smaller parts. Ironically, I fail at what I’m trying to talk about. I strive, I’m harsh to myself and I ignore my writing timers and don’t pause for some time now. I’m trying to push it too hard.

Sometimes you need to have a break

You can’t have it though when you’re constantly catapulting yourself to the moon and back. When you’re running away. Especially when you’re still holding old baggage and beliefs.

As perplexing as it may sound, often times standing still and looking inwards might get you further than mindlessly jumping away from where you are right now. That’s why I have discovered mindfulness to be such a wonderful vehicle

to not be productive at times,
to not do something to achieve something but
to simply be and meet myself where I am right now.

So I guess this episode is about patience and calmness

When did you allow yourself to rest and do nothing? Or do something non-productive? I try my best to avoid ideas that are too cliché but are classics in that regard:

looking and marvelling at the clouds or leaves in the wind,
colouring mandalas,
having a cup of tea, coffee or – just imagine – water without distractions or
water your plants, if you have any (I’m sure they’re excited for your care).

Go and find your own vehicles and activities that are non-productive and just let the mind rest for a while. Take a nap. It does wonders. There are many more days to come when we can go to work again.

Don’t run away. Stay right where you are. And yes, that does include myself as well right now.

How mindfulness helps with (not) running away

Sometimes we run away from ourselves without the awareness that we’re doing it. We exhaust ourselves, we crash and feel bad for a day or two. And then we ask ourselves why we feel so bad “so suddenly”. How we missed it when things were slowly going downhill?

Mindfulness exercises offer us a chance to learn that on a small scale. We get carried away repeatedly so we can become aware of it. We get rid of the phone, to-dos and other distractions for 10-30 minutes and see how we still get carried away repeatedly.

What is the purpose of all this? We are training our awareness to observe what is happening, which makes it stronger and strengthens our ability to ground ourselves and not get carried away.

Cultivate the habit of staying in the present moment

So you are able to observe and interpret your physical experiences, thoughts and feelings while remaining focused and calm. That is how you don’t get lost in them, but proactively navigate and respond in the way you actually want to.

If you’d like to practise on a small scale ..

.. in order to be more grounded on a large scale: Join us in finding regularity, calmness and the shared experience of it all in the next live online events. Sign up for my newsletter, where I regularly share more news, updates and information about upcoming online meditations, workshops and courses!