A short answer

Allow yourself to experience it and then let it go. It slips away for a reason, but you don’t need to cognitively investigate.

Recap

What did we talk about in the last chapter of our mindful journey?

We addressed heaviness and challenging circumstances before trying to surrender as soft and honest as possible. We concluded that whenever we feel that we’re taken on a ride, perhaps it might be time to dance with it and see where that takes us.

In case you haven’t read the previous episode – make sure to do so before you continue here!

A short reminder that has just slipped my mind

I hope that you have given dancing a chance in the meantime. It has helped me a lot to deal with my energies and moods in a more sustainable and body-oriented way. Between theoretical discussions and actually experiencing and reflecting on it in the body, I’ve started to tend to the latter.

This can be as simple as a regular walk, a sport of your choice or, as mentioned, dancing. I look forward to sharing more about this in the near future.

Introduction for today

Last time I was surprised that heaviness suddenly overwhelmed me. Why couldn’t I see the signs? That got me thinking..

Alright. Today’s journey. What to do when things slip away from you. Whatever shows up or reappears that you thought you had already tamed or accepted – but here it is, escaping your (firm) hands.

Perhaps it’s time to loosen your grip? And observe that. How would that feel? There might be something that wants to leave for good. So maybe we shouldn’t get in their way on the way out! 🙂

Are you aware when you’re stressed?

Do you know about obvious indicators of stress and discomfort? Like finding yourself being swept away from a whirlwind of wild, raw emotions or experiencing physical symptoms such as (chronic) tension, headaches, general restlessness or insomnia, among others? 

We are often not aware of these signals, and there are many possible reasons for this. Perhaps you

• are simply too busy recognising these indicators of stress and discomfort. We’re often caught up in our daily lives, schedules and automatic behaviours and self-made strategies to not lose our heads as we experience exactly that.
• never really learned to recognise, feel and interpret these signals as part of an established and regularly sustained self-regulation practice that keeps you healthy and centred even in the midst of these (ever-present) whirlwinds of circumstances.
• have never believed that it’s perfectly OK to feel all these things. That it is just as okay to feel down, scared, alone and overwhelmed as it is to feel happy, excited, energised and hopeful! Simply put, you’re not aware of the full scale of emotion and experience on this wonderful but crazy journey.
• have not found a calm and comfortable place in your life where you can allow all this to happen and receive support from like-minded people who are on their own, but similar, journey to yours.

But why, out of the sudden, did it all overwhelm me so much?

This does not mean that you are easily overwhelmed by a single incident, that you are hypersensitive or that you cannot cope with life!

Chances are that earlier signals have been there for a longer time, accumulated and developed a strength that finally beat you down. You have probably already coped with it in a more or less helpful way.

Whatever it was, whatever it is, whatever it will be – because it will definitely happen again – it was enough to tip you in a direction where you actually feel everything all at once.

Not more, not less.

Don’t make it harder than it needs to be

Unfortunately, often we add pressure onto ourselves. We judge ourselves for feeling miserable. For having lost control. For being too late recognising what has happened over a certain period of time.

Guess how much that actually helps you in that situation?

Bingo! Not at all. Let me repeat that. Not at all.

Take pressure off and find relief in a smile

All this is perfectly fine. Believe me. After all, we’ve all been thrown into this world with all its strange characteristics, and are somehow trying to make the best of it, aren’t we? There are a lot of crazy things happening in and around you. We are orbiting around a burning planet, have you forgotten that already?

Still here we are, only allowed to spend a certain amount of time here and struggle with more or less trivial things. Actually, it’s all absurd, isn’t it?

For me, it’s often about finding a smile in the midst of absurdity. It’s about realising that we’re actually doing a good job, we are indeed safe and sound right where we are, and that not all hope is lost. And that it is a crazy journey that we are involved in and that we will probably never be able to fully comprehend everything that is happening in and around us.

This proactive attitude can help you a lot

So before you head down the road of self-doubt, worry and other conclusions on your ability to hold things firmly in your hands, let’s not do that and simply let go. We’re not letting go of everything, but the one incident that caused the uneasiness in the first place.

There’s no need to like or look forward to these experiences in life in general as we can’t avoid them. But it might be worth thinking about regularly allowing yourself to let things slip away from you,

• on your own terms,
• in an environment that you find comforting and soothing,
• without questioning yourself or the world around you.

So let’s actively watch as things slip away from you

It’s time to find out what escapes your busy hands – while feeling safe and grounded. Because when you allow yourself to find the time for it, things change. And you will too.

Try it out. What is there for you to lose?

Two possible meditations for you

1. If you would like to explore your experience first and practise to become better at recognising what shows up, stays for a while and eventually leaves (like thoughts, emotions or, body signals)?

Enjoy the following body scan. Following the guidance and journeying through the body while your attention slips away – only for you to bring it back to a certain body part – can be a relaxing and beginner-friendly way to practise.

2. If you would like ti focus on recognising things to let go of, practise with the following guided meditation on Letting Go.

Set aside 30 minutes for yourself, find a quiet place where you feel comfortable and listen to it. Close your eyes and follow the guidance, or keep them open and let the meditation inspire you to reflect.

In the meantime, this might also help you learn more about yourself in this regard

Perhaps you can transform the question of “What to do when things slip away from you?” into the following ones. Don’t try to answer them all or straight away, but let them sink in and see for yourself if and what comes up naturally. That can be a good indicator of where and how to continue your journey from here.

• Would I like to find more time and space to deal with overwhelming, stressful or challenging situations in a more healthy and sustainable way?
• Would I like to explore the possibilities of feeling grounded in my body?
• How can I self-regulate and calm the nervous system to keep a cool head in the midst of difficulty?
• What stops me from letting go?